PASSION

Some tagline on the biggest event on my organization reminds me of something; PASSION.

Someone said that today, "Passion is something that you like. Not something you capable of. Not something that you can only do. But passion is something you like--you really like." Everyone can't be success without passion. What do you expect? When you had to do some works but you're not in it. You need a passion.

It slaps me.

What is my passion in this life?

"You don't need to think so hard about what is your passion. Just think about something that makes you obsessed, energetic, and happy when you think about it. Something that can makes you feel the freedom."

....and some things crosses my mind.

1. SINGING

I probably not the best. I probably nothing compare all of those singers out there. But hell yeah, I know I can sing. There is a single part of myself that always told my mind that I really want to a great singer in the future. I want to be seen. I want them to know that I have something I really capable. I always want to show all of my expression through songs. There are so many things that so hard to tell with our own mouth. Sometimes we need a facility. For me; it's a song.  That's a good point. I really love singing.

2. WRITING

On a previous talk, I said that there are so many things that so hard to tell with our own mouth. This is also one of the reason why I love writing. Sometimes, when you can't express your feelings with mouth, you can express it with words on the paper. Write it down! But in this case, I really love writing stories. What's in my heart, I'm often write it down on my stories. When I'm feeling happy, when I'm feeling sad, when I'm feeling excited, I purposely make a stories about it. I hope that's a good story. I really want to be a good writer so people can feel my feeling too. Haha, I don't know. Ah, there is a second case. This may sounds quite impossible...but, I also want to be a song-writer. I love singing, and I love writing. Why can't I be a song-writer? I'd love to do that. Can I...really?

3. PHOTOGRAPHY

"Time flies. People changes. But memories stays." Should I say again why I really love photography? Because I always feel like want to freeze the time. The president of my organization always called me, 'A girl behind the lens", since he was getting used to see me with my camera. Haha, It may sounds strange but while the people are prefer to be a model in the pictures, I prefer to be someone who took the picture. Not because I'm ugly or something, haha! I like that. I don't know, maybe my pictures are not really good like an expert. But I think those all are still a good pictures. Don't blame me if I really liked taking a pictures of you in candid, because that was my favorite. Natural, and somehow touchy. When you look at it in the future, the ones that took candid will have a special effect compares the other ones. Pictures are alive. It tells us that we're ever gone some through special situation back then, which is a good situation or bad situation. But what's the matter is pictures sometimes be able to talk. That's why.

What can you do now? You have no time machine. You can't go back to previous times, and you can't go forward. Who knows what will I be in the future? But also, who cares? I just want to have fun for now. Live while we're young! Do something you really like. Don't waste your time. I believe my passion will bring me into something someday.

The more I think about it, I'm an extraordinary. Everybody is.

We just need to look deeper inside us to find what we really want to do.

Oh! Have I ever mentioned what the tagline I said to you on the beginning of this post?

It's the tagline of Indonesia Business Expo and Competition 2012.

It said.... ENTERPRISE YOUR FASHION PASSION!!! :)

Where I Am Now.....

UNIVERSITAS INDONESIA.

yeah, this is where i am now. University of Indonesia. surprise? of course. happy? exactly extremely. proud? don't need to ask again. i just....not expected this. i really really can't believe myself for entering this University. i always feel stupid, or whatever. but see? now i can :') i feel sooooooo happy when i know that I've accepted. all of people in my house was scream. including me of course. that morning is full of laughter at that day. i still remember how I was thanked to God directly. i still remember how my father and my mother screamed of happiness. that makes me feel so happy till i wanted to cry. that was one of an incredible moment i've ever had.

my mind said, finally, I can make my parents proud of me.

Now, it's been one term already i'm here. really time flied too fast to know that i've through one term already. so many happiness, but also so many pain i've felt. so many laughter, but also too much tears i've wasted. method of studying, how to get a good score on exam, socialize, and the most important is...friendship. i missed everything i left behind to chasing a new one here. maybe i'm just shock with my new life here. i just have to face it and work hard for everything. i'm strong. i know, i can through this although i know it wouldn't be easy. but God will always help me.

now it's such a funny to realized that kind of these views is looks so familiar for me.
really, i've never been expected it before. i've never. seriously.
but, thank God. you give me a chance to have this.
you give me a chance to make my family proud of me.
I will work hard. Promise :)

NOTHING COULD BE HAPPIER!!!!

SUPER JUNIOR WILL COME TO INDONESIA THIS JUNE!!!!!!!!!

YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAY??????
SUPER JUNIOR FOR KIMCHI AT INDONESIA!!!!!
"Korean Idols Music Concert Hosted in Indonesia"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Happy Birthday Lee Hyukjae♥

"His name is Lee Hyukjae. Everybody's call him Eunhyuk.

I call him Spencer Lee Hyukkie."

SLH, today is your birthday, but i don't have something to give you. Besides, i know that everyone's already give you surprise and gift and anything more beautiful than everything that i couldn't give to you..

Hyukkie, in this year, I wish you Happy 25th Birthday!!! I hope you will always stay healthy, you will always happier each day, you won't ever crying of sadness anymore, you will always show your the best gummy smile ever.

"Come on and fly with me
As we make our great escape

So baby don't worry
You are my only
You won't be lonely
No need to worry

Baby, are you down, down down down down?
Down down..
Even if the sky is falling down.."

Eunhyuk.

He is awesome.
He's the best at dancing. He's the best rapper i've ever known.
He loves Lee Donghae for sure ;p He respect his Hyung and take a good care of his Dongsaeng.
He loves his noona so much 'till sometimes i feel jealous. He is too kind-hearted and soft.
He loves crying too often until everybody's call him 'hyuk cry baby'...
He is funny. In any way. For everything that he's doing. He is funny.
Even he doesn't have too much part, but i know he can sing beautifully.

And you know what the most important?
He is always give me the best smile that nobody can show to me.

Hyukkie, you are the best. I love you so much!!!!!! :)
Please stay healthy and don't get sick, okay.... :)
Once again.. Happy Birthday, Spencer Lee Hyukkie~~~♥

PS : "Naddo Saranghaeyo, SL..."

♥ ~

THEY ARE PEOPLE I ♥ SO MUCH

MY LOVELY PARENTS :*

MOJOJO with his POWERPUFF GIRLS :)

THIS FIVE PEOPLE that i call 'RUDARR'

They who always disturb me but actually
i love them because always making me smile ^^

MY ALDH, the person that i can't describe with words.


"God, please... Just don't get me far away from them.."

생일축하해!!!!!!~

Let's say HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY to me!!!

Yeah!!! ^^
God, i'm sorry for all of my mistakes.
i'm sorry if i still crying everytime i think about BlueBaby.
include today's early morning. i'm still crying.
maybe today is not my best day ever, but thanks a lot for today.
God, family, and RUDARR, i love you all so muccccccccch ^0^

My Lovely BLUEBABY :'(

January 29th, 2011. My BlueBaby was missing because my own stupidity... for many days i couldn't stop crying. my eyes are swollen like a golf ball. everything's means nothing. memories, how to i get it back, i don't really care. but, it's pure my fault. it makes me wanna die. everybody must doesn't know how broken i am to lost this thing. this is important. my parents didn't gave this easily. i promise to them that i will keep it until i growing up. i won't asking for anything more if i get this. but now...... i lost it.

don't you know how i feel so sorry for my parents. i'm stupid......

Jan 29th, 2011. instead of let me watching 'that show', God takes the most important thing for me.

God, i lost my 'laugh pocket'.

And the last.... why this should happen so close to my birthday?

RUDARR♥

It's been over 3 years we've been together, guys. and now, it feels like cutting my fingers to face the truth that we only have 4 months again together.
after that, we will apart from each others.

Yeah, i just can't live without them. I'm sure.
I can't imagine i must through the days without them in the future.
Feels like I wanna crying for now.
They are my everything. ♥

동해생일이다!!! (It's Donghae's Birthday!!!)

DECEMBER 09, 2009. the day that i decided as the day when i've falling in love with this guy. actually, before Dec 9, i've already fallin' love with this guy, when i saw Sorry Sorry Music Video for many times. But i don't remember the specific date. Dec 9 is the date when i had started to search anything about him, i really fallin love with him when i saw Super Junior on Tricks (sorry, i can't find the link) and Donghae Magic Show on Youtube. And that was December 9, 2009. So i had decided the "our date".

LEE DONG HAE.

Now, October 15, 2010. Today is a big day for you. 24 years Indonesia age, and 25 years old Korea age.

I'm really sad..
Because you'll still grow old and left me behind.
Because i can't give you anything on your birthday except this.
Because i haven't meet you yet until now.
Because i can't say 'Happy Birthday' and shake your hands directly.
Because maybe, you'll never read this forever and know how much i love you
Because you didn't know me at all..

But beside that,
I'm really thankful. Thanks to God, who made a perfect guy like you, and let you have a long life until 24 years.
I'm really thankful to your mother and father too. Who take care of you since you were child until you grow up.
I'm really thankful to our leader Teuk. Who always take care of you too since you were trainee. Pick you up from your highschool faithfully. Beside you all the time when you needed.
I'm really thankful to Eunhyuk. Who made you laughing and cheerful when you beside him. Always dancing with you handsomely. Never let you eating alone since you didn't like to eating alone. Take care of you and never wanna let you down.
I'm really thankful to other members. Who loves you so much more each day.
And I'm really thankful to you. Who always cheerful, and I love you just the way you are.

Your laughter is my everything..

You are super cool..

Beside singing, dancing, you're a composer. You are really multi-talented

You love kid..

You're super silly and make me laughing all the time..

Your face looks like a lost child who want to be protected..

Loving your father who already passed away with whole of your heart..

You love to open your mouth..

You love to sticking your tongue out..

Your expressions are really epic!

I don't know how to say this. You grow up. You grow old. But you'll still be my Baby Aiden Lee Donghae. There are many fish in a sea, but I just want you. The one i love so much. My love is different with the others. I can't explain it by myself. Nobody can describe how much I love you, including my own self.

I really wish all the greatest for you on your 24 birthday. Hoping you'll be always success on your career. Stay to SUPER JUNIOR faithfully with another members. Stay healthy and never get sick all the time.

(Credits: Jamilah & @angginisaa)

Love you forever, My Aiden Lee Donghae. Nothing's gonna change. ♥

#Eunhae @ 100914 Idol Sport Day

See what i told you, guys! They're really inseparable....... ^^

I have nothing to say anymore. speechless. they are always together everytime everywhere. actually, still many photos of them both together but i can't upload it =] ahhhh~ the point is, i love them so deep deep deep. too much! and i know they're also love each other, hahahaha~~ so glad to see them like this! be like this FOREVER, our Eunhae! Hwaiting!!!!^^

I ♥ EUNHAE SO MUCH
MORE THAN YOU KNOW THAT!!!!

ELF

sometimes, i feel so annoyed to be a fangirl. i want to get out from this life. i don't want to be a fangirl anymore. but i can't. i can't find the way out. nobody can help me! everyone had told me already that i should get out from this crazyness. my friends keeps telling me to leave them. but i can't get out. CANNOT. i love this life. i can't leave because i'm happy to be a fangirl.

and especially because of THEM. i can't get out from this life. stuck in this routine. loving 15 people who doesn't know me at all. adore them with seeing their photos and their video only. screaming all the time when look at their cool performance. always put their picture as our cellphone wallpaper. can't stop smiling when our bias started to singing. keep telling our friends how funny they are although they(friends) don't understand what are funny. crying when they are look with another girls that we hate so much. spending a lot of money to watch their concert, buy their CD albums or even just a magazine which put their article. and etc.

since i was young, i always love blue. i'm really do. BLUE is my favorite colour. all of my stuff is blue. and now, i've already know why i love blue so much.

Me. I love to be a fangirl. I love to loving them with all my heart. it will stay forever as long as i live. nothing is gonna changing. although that antis or whatever, although they're (fan to fan) always arguing each other, i don't listen them. i don't care what they say. i'm not shaking. will stay here, to be an ELF. i'm proud to be an ELF. forever to give a big spirit for Super Junior. holding sapphire blue balloons and lightstick, always screaming their name. screaming Park Jungsoo, Kim Heechul, Hangeng, Kim Jongwoon, Kim Youngwoon, Shin Donghee, Lee Sungmin, Lee Hyukjae, Lee Donghae, Kim Kibum, Kim Ryeowook, Cho Kyuhyun, in every part of their songs. with 2 another wonderful boys, Zhoumi and Henry Lau. i love them in every way.

Super Junior, i'm sorry... i love you all. too much. even, i feel so sad if you have a girlfriend. i feel so angry and wanna crying when i see you with another girl. although i know it's your right. but i can't help it.. Sorry.

PS: I'm really crying when i read this. just click at this.

RIP my Radhina...

Today, i went to my friend's place. Radhina Silviani. my Mezzo friend at SUANSA. it feels like, i miss her so much. i just can send a pray for her in front of her gravestone. and then i'm going to cry. close my eyes, and suddenly it feels like i got a flashback to 1st and 2nd June. when i had got the text message about her death. my heart beating. and everyone gathered at her home that night. the ambulans was came behind my car. and Radhin was in there. that was rainy heavily. everybody's crying and hugged each other. including me. at 2nd June, we went to her funeral. i saw her in the grave. then, my chest feels heavy. the tears came out already. sad... that's all still clear in my memories. i still can remember at all. i can't help this tears to come out.

and today, Sept 11 2010, i know you'll rest in peace at your place there. i just wanna say i miss you, Radhin. i miss to see you came late at practice every saturday. i miss to see you always want to in front of camera when we take a pictures. all i can do is just pray here for you. we love you. forever..